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| When I was little, I wanted to see many things and be many many different occupations. I wondered about everything. What if.....one day I grew up and became a teacher. Or what if I travel around the world as a stewardess? But as I grew up I realized, I couldn't be all of those things and all at the same time. It was just not realistic. I remember when I was in elementary school, all I wanted was to be able to go out to the park after school and play like the other kids. My mom always objected. In HS, I always wanted to be liked. It was much harder than JHS where all the boys always liked me around. In college, I didn't know who I was. And now, today I still look at myself in the mirror and wonder who I am. I am just a small potato walking to and fro work. I am a piece of garbage that gets thrown around and somehow lands in the trash by day end. I am nothing. It's funny though, because more than ever, all I want is just some peace and quiet. All I need is some food and a good television show to keep me company. All I want to know is that my family is safe and happy. That will suffice. My heart can then be at rest. Nowadays, my chest has been hurting so much, I don't even try to think about what it is. If and when it comes, I shall face it and if it's time, it's time. After all, all things must end some time or another. | | |
| I am really really tired. I think sometimes when you overwork your body and mind, they have a very obvious way to show you that need some rest - you ultimately can't take it anymore and you get sick. It's sad that this is what it takes to show me I really need to stop worrying so much about everything. I need to stop caring about other people so much and to really learn to take better care of myself because who knows, maybe the next time someone has to leave work because of health reasons, it could most likely be me. I need to stop trying so hard to make everyone like me because I know that will never happen, the only thing I can do is make sure that I do my work to the best of my ability and to be true to those friends that do really care about me. I am sad about what's going on in my family and not being able to be there to cope with them. I am sad that sometimes those closest to you are the ones that betray you. I am tired of stupid gossip. I realized that I sometimes I just try too hard. Why can't I be one of those people that just lives life being happy? I was thinking about it yesterday on the train - why I am where I am. It's all a matter of choice, right? I should start thinking about what makes me happy, not what other people want me to be. And I am tired most of all, of lacking close friends to share my frustrations with. Sometimes I just don't think they understand. But I am hopeful that I will find a way through this with the help of the one that never abandons me through thick and thin. I am hopeful that I will learn through this and become a stronger person. I hope that next year will be a better year for my family and I. | | |
| Worst part of living by yourself is that when youre too sick to cook, there's just nothing you can do until tomorrow. | | |
| There's a first time for everything... I went to a booking salon. | | |
| I love this song... Another day has gone, I'm still all alone
How could this be you're not here with me
You never said goodbye, someone tell me why
Did you have to go and leave my world so cold?
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone, for I am here with you
Though you're far away, I am here to stay
But you are not alone, for I am here with you
Though we're far apart, you're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone, why, 'lone
Just the other night, I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come and hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers, your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand then forever can begin
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone, for I am here with you
Though you're far away, I am here to stay
But you are not alone, for I am here with you
Though we're far apart, you're always in my heart
For you are not alone
Oh whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And I, and girl you know that I'll be there, I'll be there
You are not alone, for I am here with you
Though you're far away, I am here to stay
You are not alone, for I am here with you
Though we're far apart, you're always in my heart
You are not alone, for I am here with you
(You are not alone)
(I am here with you)
Though you're far away, I am here to stay
(Though you're far away)
(You and me)
For you are not alone, for I am here with you
(You are always in my heart)
Though we're far apart, you're always in my heart
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